summeryyy

Such a nice summer it's been. I've done a couple of new songs, visited Provinssirock and Ruisrock, hanged out with my friends and relaxed for so many days at our summer cottage. Been living there for weeks. Just today I came home from my friend, we were at her place with a bunch of friends for the weekend to celebrate her birthday and had so much fun. Swam in the lake and the swimming pool, watched Moomins and Disney stuff and ate the most wonderful food... great, great, great.

I'm starting to rehearse for fall gigs in August with my band Spark and I am super excited about it. They will be the most awesome electro pop gigs Helsinki has seen. At least I'll try.

I'm having an acoustic gig next Wednesday night at 7 pm in Ruttopuisto, Helsinki, and I'll be playing for about 30-45 minutes. Or until a picniccer loses their mind on me. Yiihaa! Come hear 7-8 Spark songs, old and new!

Yauzaa.



And still, and maybe more than ever, I feel this song. The lyrics sound too much like me, and now you know a lot of me. Yay.

I always say

Google knows me.

I know not Google.

Status update ;)

Hi, been off lately. Lost my interest in writing this blog.

So much has happened... and still so little. I've completed my EP which I have been working on for the last one and a half year. It's in the very last phase of post-production and will be ready on Monday. That is the day when we start hunting for people who might be interested in my musical ventures. We have nice plans, we have the image for the project done and we still need to write a biography and get the last versions from mastering. They sound awesome, I tell you. "17 yo guy making 80's british synth pop styled stuff. Cool!", someone said.

I've had the time of my life, been really happy the last few weeks. I'm surrounded with lovely people and I'm really... blessed. Not religious at all but that is a word probably the most suitable, still. Sun's been shining, it's been extremely hot and I've been seeing nice people. And it all started from a choir concert evening where I hanged out with two cool friends I had not hanged out with that much before. Since then I've been feeling really good.

Now the summer holidays started and I'm afraid I start feeling empty. I won't be seeing the awesome people EVERY day which is sad. I don't have a lot to do. Friends are abroad, at their cottages, on different camps and such. The music project doesn't carry on in a blink of an eye, it needs time from now on. We only need to wait now for people to contact us.

What I could start doing to keep myself sane would be to write new songs. I've just been too happy to write songs. It's easier to write about downside stuff. But now that I have time to write I know I will get inspired soon and write something I've never done before. I am very ambitious, I want to be better than I am. For example Bruno Mars' new album has stuff I could think of trying to write. Or then something like Studio Killers' Jenny. I have a lot of choices.

I've been listening to some old demos and will start developing them next week. There are songs such as "Ghost", "Desperado", "I Don't Wanna Be Friends", "Save Me", "Strangers" and "Together Till The End". Also I have made a short clip that's called "By All Means".

But yeah. The EP is done now and maybe you'll hear a clip of some song in some point!

ville valo

Okay, Ville Valo is the poet of the poets. The symbolism that fountain from inside of him is astonishing. Now he described one of his new songs on a track-by-track video as the following:

"I was thinking of life as a vinyl. You know, you kinda put the needle on and then you don't want to shake it too much so it doesn't skip - but it does skip, when you mess about, when you fuck up. And then, in one point it ends and you try to rewind it, change the tempo, from 78 rpm to 33 and everything between."

What the hell, really? He has had a lot of free time lately to think of this kind of symbolisms and I just can not stop admiring his brain.

cool cool cool

Sydämen sulamisonnettomuus (Liquefactio cordis) on sydämen sairaus, jossa ihmissydämessä majailevien tunteiden määrä kasvaa niin sietämättömän suureksi, että koko elin sulaa lörpsähtää. Tautia on esiintynyt läpi tunnetun historian, joskin yleisimmillään se oli viktoriaanisella, näennäisen tiukan tapakulttuurin ja pöhkönkirjallisuuden aikakaudella. Nykyään sydämet usein karkaistaan pian valamisen jälkeen sulamisonnettomuuksien ehkäisemiseksi.


Ain't it cool? What a finding.

Wanna feel a meltdown, thank u.

big questions in the night

Mitä teen? Mihin meen?
Olen jäänyt satimeen
enkä saa
unelmaa
poljen vettä seisovaa
Jotain suurempaa
Jotain parempaa
Odottaa
En voi vielä luovuttaa

Taisto kuningas on pajatson

Have been kind of out of reach lately. I shouldn't reveal it but I've been trying out a human test; I haven't sent a single message to anyone but one friend of mine, I watch if people make contact themselves. I know it may feel rough but feels like the right thing. And out of the people that I've been in close contact lately some have made contact.

twice

guess I love to do same things twice, gotta 'repost' a song.



This song is freaking genius. The composition is catchy and the lyrics are clever.
"Genius is man, this", said Yoda never.

When I was a kid, the things I did, were hidden under the grid
Young and naive, I never believed that love could be so well hid
With regret, I'm willing to bet, you say the older you get
It gets harder to forgive and harder to forget

It gets under your shirt like a dagger or work
The first cut is the deepest, but the rest will flippin' hurt
You build your heart of plastic, get cynical and sarcastic
And end up in the corner on your own

'Cause I love to feel love but can't stand the rejection
I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection
I thought I was close, but under further inspection
It seems I've been running in the wrong direction
Oh, no

So what's the point in getting your hopes up
When all you're ever getting is choked up
When you're coked up,
And can't remember the reason why you broke up
You call her in the morning
When you're coming down and falling
Like an old man on the side of the road

'Cause when you're apart you don't want to mingle
When you're together you want to be single
Ever the chase to taste the kiss of bliss
That made your heart tingle
How much greener the grass is
With those rose tinted glasses
But the butterflies, they flutter by
And leave us on our asses

'Cause I love to feel love but I can't stand the rejection
I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection
I thought I was close, but under further inspection
It seems I've been running in the wrong direction

There's fish in the sea for me to make a selection
I'd jump in if it wasn't for my ear infection
'Cause all I want to do is try to make a connection
But it seems I've been running in the wrong direction
Oh, oh

Seems Passenger had only One Direction.
Lolz.

i will make a cool post no matter it took

cool post or not?

these suit each other fine.

the poem is superb and i like the song i found this morning

jee and jaa

hmm... had a strage evening. went through the ep songs with the producer and we were pondering what we are going to do. we had a long talk and in the end we locked our plan. as heartbreaking as it feels to say, people should prepare not to hear a thing from the ep, that could be the case. maybe it's better if i prepare you so you don't have to prepare yourselves:

i might not be releasing an ep ever this year.

wow, feels kinda strong to say that. but yeah, we've got a great plan. if the plan works, and i fucking make it work, the whole ep would be ready in the end of april. but yeah, you may not hear it at all this year.

it's been kind of a confusing week. interesting, though. don't really know what to think of anything so yeah, i'm badly confused by life. there are choices i could make.

and i remembered a nice quote i found on tumblr someday, it goes like this: i almost hate letting people into my life 'cause they always leave. in my case i wouldn't say i hate it and i wouldn't say they always leave, i would modify it as the following: i'm afraid of letting people into my life 'cause they may leave someday.

and as i had to think about the ep tonight, it made me think of how goddamn important those five songs and the whole 1,5 year process is to me. those five songs have been on top of my priority list, on top of my life for all this time. i so wish someone wants to listen to them.

thank u for your time,
blogger,
thanks for letting me clear my mind

trip to upper finland

* singing Happy Birthday and a random choir song ex tempore to an elder lady,

such a beautiful moment

* meeting local people

* enjoying a weekend in a place new to you with awesome people

* wandering through snowy sheets to a high snowy mountain

for a campfire in sunshine, roasting marshmallows + warm juice

* sauna plus a run out to the ice to have a glance on the moon and the stars

* trip back home in the back of a van with friends

* bus trips

* sleep

* landscapes of beauty

papillon

Hey'all! Nice week again! Yesterday was pretty busy but fun! Today I'm going to the studio to work on two songs all by myself, I've been doing some vocal exercises so my voice would be in great shape for the night. I need to sing two choruses, multiple times. Unspoken & Incomplete. And hopefully some backing vocals.

Haha... unspoken & incomplete. Wonder why all my songs have such a negative yet hopeful message.  And yeah, I thought I'd write down some takes from my new lyrics. And there are not much of these, and they are just lines from somewhere. And they're not necessarily, in any way, connected with my personal life. Necessarily.

By all means 

oh cure this disease

called love

But my pleas

they fall on deaf ears

Oh love, I burn

*

I set fire to this bridge I'm crossing

The time's upon me, I'm leaving this burden behind

I know you won't let go of my heavy heart

Realize though I'd stay we'd never get this thing right

*

I cannot breathe when you're out of my reach

*

I've been stuck in the entries

*

Who in the least dares to feel?

These days you must be made of steel

'Cause in the end you'll face defeat

Reality rarely reaches dream

*

You made me feel at home in a place I did not know

Why'd you run away, oh why'd you run away

* 

This rose has no thorns, no
I'm fighting against an oath I have sworn

*

They've been offering their hearts

You've tied my hands behind my back

I need you in my arms, now

So please untie me

*

What if we were not friends

What if we were lovers instead

But there's always an end

As much as we tried to pretend

inspiring poetry!!!

If something inspires me, it is these poems.

These are so goddamn brilliant.

And I feel these. Some of them a lot but probably not quite as literally as they are.

I also feel that everything a person likes tells about the person, which I think is a fact actually.

Why have I chosen exactly these poems to introduce tells a lot of the inner me.

Oh, how deep once again.

This is quite beautiful.

There's something cool in this.

True words.

I see this as something about relationships.

This is freaking cool. Inspiring as hell.

This is one of the most me of these. Love it.

Frustration and loss neatly packaged.

This is fun. 

And I don't give up on anything though it's hard to breathe...

Amazing.

And I cannot survive

And I cannot survive 'cause you always mess up my mind

And I love no-one

And I share my heartache with no-one

This is fun, too. Quite awesome.

This is also a fun one. I like the "You can hug me. Fucking listen to me." part lol...

Makes me think of a bitter and lost person who needs comfort and love.

Check out (in Finnish)

Only You

But when I close my eyes I see you stand before me

And if you take my hand I'll leave it all behind

Because only you can set me free

nine lives

I'm so happy. Great feeling! Not a cloud on my sky.

Yesterday was awesome. And so was the day before. New people, real awesome people. Hope we bump into each other sometime in the future.

Spring is in town. Coffee made me shake and coffee made me feel nice. New Von Hertzen Brothers album is super. Love, love, love. There's nothing I could complain about, really... But the fact that all my days are full and I have no time to express myself, pour some of my soul on paper, and all my ideas just multiply and multiply inside my head...

Yeah!!!! Guys be positive, stay sharp and fill yourself with joy. Works with me.

when there's no love in town

Been feeling this song!

In vain.

And I'm so goddamn excited about living my life.

I like being here

On Tellus.

There's also something else I've had in mind writing in here about. I'm really easy to get to know if you are interested in getting to know me. I might seem silent at times but that may be because there are stronger personalities in the same space, or I seem absent or then I am too tired to be on the spot. But if you want to get to know me I kind of soon want to get to know you too. If you don't want it, I won't be wanting it either. Haha. It's just been on my mind because it's interesting, I think.

And out of context, people are so damn pussies these days. Everyone is afraid of doing the things they love or the things they would want to do. A lot of this has to do with talking with people. "Who am I to..." and so on. Really, fuck all that and do the things you love. I do not intend to praise my own achievements but I have achieved a lot by doing things I want to do. I have a kind of a 'do or die' attitude, I can't leave things undone because I would regret it afterwards. If you want to get to know someone, if you would love to write a song with your idol, if you would want to have a special message on the Kamppi light board, if you would want to have the whole Helsinki drowning in roses, if you would want to have your favorite band visit your summer cottage...... There are ways of getting things done. Just got to know the way and never quit until you've achieved what you want.

Lol, this sounds so stupid. But once again, you've got to know me a little better by reading this blog post.

How I met your... my producer (+song!!!)

One thing that's been crucial for my 'career' was the acoustic two-side single that I recorded in the fall of 2011. It's been for so many coincidences that I tend to think it's all destiny. I printed 50 pieces of this single and later on literally run to the concert of this certain electro pop band. Saw the last 15 minutes of their performance and after the gig I chatted with the lead singer. We had same kind of history, we had both started writing songs in an early age and then on moved to producing in teenage years, as a 'one man band'. The singer, who is also a producer, songwriter and what else, promised to help me in future and if I recall correctly, he offered to give me some mixing tips.

Things happened and soon I was 'a technician' at their club gig. This basically meant eating with them, chilling with them at the backstage, watching their soundcheck, eating their snacks and drinking their drinks... Haha. It was a dream come true. Quite far from a technician's job but I did-not-complain!!

At the venue I handed out the acoustic single to this new producer friend of mine and on the next morning as we chatted out, he asked if I wanted to learn producing music. Hell yes! Soon an EP was in the works. And has been for the last, what, 14 months! Haha. I have advanced so fucking much. Pardon my French but it's just mental how much I have advanced because of this great meet-up.

Haha, and when we met with the producer at the studio, I played him 10 of my rough rock 'n roll songs. He was confused. He was amazed. What had he done?! They did not meet his expectations at all. He had heard two acoustic pop songs. And now this fella was offering him 10 rough rock songs? Ugh! I had started experimenting with the electronic genre after discovering the producer's band and then I played one of them to him and he was blown away. "More of these, please". I didn't like the idea. I wanted to make an lo-fi indie rock record in vein of Olavi Uusivirta's Nuoruus single. But then, I was just so in love with the producer's band that it took my heart and I started producing music on my laptop and suddenly they started sounding mind-blowing not only to myself but also to the producer who had inspired me. Mental.

This unreleased song was the b-side of the single. I recorded it again last summer because I liked the song but did not like the production back in 2011. The lyrics are once again personal and tell of the feelings I had in the fall of 2011. They are pretty self-explanatory. "To let this situation proceed under its own weight or to just go cold turkey would be all the same". The communication between two people might have frozen or stopped, and their relationship is flatlining as in dying. Flat line = dead.

Hope you like the song! There's a slight Passenger vibe to it now that I've discovered the guy, OR THEN NOT. It's kind of a pop "folk". In captions for it's kind of far from the real folk.




Flatlining 170712

To let this situation proceed
under its own weight
or to just go cold turkey
would be all the same

But nevertheless, the recent silence
has taken all my hope and powers
I wish this would never end
but we are flatlining

It can't be as hard to see
as it is to say
No, it can't be as hard 'cause
You must have noticed by now

You've got some former experience
So how would you revive ourselves?
I wish this would never end
but we are flatlining

Nevertheless, the recent silence
has taken all my hope and powers
I wish this would never end
but we are flatlining
We are flatlining

I shouldn't...

I am not that sick anymore! Feeling better outside, inside even better. Hhaha.

I asked my friend to join forces with me as a synth player to play in my synth pop band and he said yes. I'm very happy because I got one box ticked out of my to-do list and things rolling little by little. The EP seems to be finishing by itself, haha, and I wish we'd be gigging in spring already. May, perhaps. It's all about the timing with ALL music concerned stuff so these things got to be planned early as hell. The EP must be released in the right time and you gotta think of all kinds of little things. And then again, none. It's complicated.

The clock was about 6 pm when I decided to start recording some additional acoustic guitars to the EP. I came up with a riff that I recorded and then I started playing some chords over it. The chord progression sounded so nice that I started to sing upon it and boom. A song was born.

"I Shouldn't Think Of You" is what I've made in two hours. I have been told by the producer not to make new songs (and I haven't for the last month or so!) because... well, I don't like doing bad songs. I usually ditch the song in an early phase if it doesn't please my ear. We've had a serious problem with my songwriting during the process of making the EP; I constantly produce better and better songs and that leads us, me and the producer, to a situation in which the songs we have decided to do are not the best ones anymore. So, I had to quit writing for some time.

And now that I started, this is what came out in two hours! I like it. I also use chords I seldom use and that was not even intentional, hehe.

I, I shouldn't think of you
Still I do
 

positivity prevails

Still suffering of flu so all the plans are once again fucked up but as always, I rather aim my focus on the positive sides of things. And I'm eagerly waiting for spring, for the summer. For the finishing of the EP, for the live gigs, for the EP release. I'm eagerly waiting for my life. All the amazing things that will happen in the next years. And I become so extremely happy every time I remember there's a whole life in front of me. 

These are probably the most beautiful lyrics in the whole wide universe. And so is the song. Snow Patrol has the most romantic lyrics in the world lol. Haha. Wish I'd see them someday.

CHASING CARS

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

But if you close your eyes does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

[BASTILLE : POMPEII. THEIR DEBUT ALBUM'S OUT NOW!!!]

Jee.

I have just journeyed in the trunk of a car with friends after enjoying a chill birthday party in a slight fever... Had a boring first half of the day and a nice other half until the fever rose again. Now I'm sneezing and editing the EP songs. Last night I once again heard some positive feedback concerning my music from people I don't know and that felt really good. They could not believe a boy of my age would be producing the kind of music I produce - and the fact I make it all by myself (though I have a producer teaching, coaching and guiding me, but nowadays I do A LOT of it. It often sounds like the final deal on the second demo version) was just the cherry on the cake.

Next week I try to do things even more than this week. My friends from a longer period of time would want to see me but I've always planned every day full, gotta free a lot of time for them in the future.

fever yay

I got invited to a weekly meetup of songwriters in school, I get a high school course out of it and I gotta write two essays and a couple of songs. Very nice and it's nice to see other songwriters there. Just today we listened to my song and everyone either wrote or drew something that came to their minds while the listening and it was very nice to hear and see what they had got out of it. Motivating, too.

In the afternoon I was supposed to go to see Olavi Uusivirta with my friend but as she did not come I went by myself and was very, very pleased with the gig. Superb!! Olavi is such an a-ma-zing performer, singer and songwriter. We got to hear a partly a cappella version of Reeperbahn and Nuoruus, the last song before the encore, just blew everyone's minds with the energy Olavi put into it.

I should have gone to see a gig of my friend's but this fever that rose just won't let me. Felt dizzy in the escalator in the city center and what else! Sick. I so would have wanted to go but I thought it's better I go home instead... Fucking sucks but so has sucked the whole day for some parts. Just don't freaking get some people. This fever plus vitutus just does not do.

the day of the days for a while

Today was an amazing day. It started with the same old 6.45 am alarm wake after a well slept night. Parents took off to Paris in the morning. Just called them a face-time call and they showed me a real nice hooded cape they had bought for me and which I have been drooling all week on the website of a Finnish store. They got it there and what I saw of it it looked quite nice. That's one thing that makes me happy and thankful today!

The morning started with band rehearsals. The lead singer and guitarist of my favorite Finnish band (I don't want to write the name down on here but the name of the band is often attributed VHB) was hosting another band in the rehearsal loft next door. It felt really good he waved to me through the glass and as he came by to pick up an amplifier from our loft he hello'd me and that felt so nice. He's an amazing person for what I know of him, and he felt genuinely pleased to meet once again as we talked after the rehearsals.

In the morning we took Hanna's phone with Viivi and checked out comedy movies from Netflix - we made our decision and decided to watch Romancing the Stone (Vihreän timantin metsästys). It turned out to be pretty far from comedy, but still, it was an entertaining and fun experience. Gotta watch the final 30 min soon, hopefully tomorrow!

I got a 9 out of my history exam which made me super happy. Could not see that coming.

After school I had some business to make and then I went to Levykauppa Äx to watch a band called Stala & So. I've been following their career for some seven years now. Was nice to see the guys live again and exchange some words.

After I had headed home to grab some food my very good friend Pihla came to our place and we hanged out for some time talking all kind of miscellaneous stuff. Had a great time. I just think that I got sick. Not by her haha but I had been feeling a little ill all day. Very sleepy and so on. I just cannot get sick now. Too much things to do.

I also got a message from the first drummer candidate. We'll see what happens. Oh, and JUST NOW I checked out my messages and I've got a second drummer candidate. Wow yeah, this one seems to have experience. Guess we'll be going to interview the candidates with the producer. Wish I had a synth player too... well, this is outstandingly fast. Wouldn't have expected to have two drummer candidates in a day so I guess I'll let the synth players find the ads.

Wow, I really got things rolling. A little, at least!!! Super.

Tomorrow's going to be a good day too. And I'm going to throw a birthday party for myself next week, it's something I'm eagerly waiting for! And we'll also be going to my friend's home town soon which will be kind of an adventure!

miscellaneous, mysterious

The plans got fucked up once again so I had some cocoa with Jusa. The day was bright, the sky was blue, it felt the spring really was coming.

I hit the road to the studio and saw some red painted clouds up in the skies. I was running late but I got to take the chance and go to a nearby strand to take a picture or two. I didn't get that good pictures but with a little instagramming the sky became pleasing.

At the studio we started searching for a drummer and a synth player via Internet, talked about future of my music project, possible autumn gig in the most amazing place ever... And I sung all the verses and the c-part of 'Unspoken'. Neat performance, I must say, because I had a little sore throat. Surely gonna be sick tomorrow.

Been kinda down lately, I've felt like I've fucked up a relation. Feeling like the communication has frozen and we've become distant. Why don't people realize they're important to you and why do they go messing around?

They possess a connection.

All My Life

Have had a nice day. All of my plans were fucked up so I hanged out with my friend at our place and then went to the city center rooftops. The sunset was brilliant, oh my god.

I also just listened to my old demos and found this song called "All My Life", which I also performed at two acoustic concerts last fall. I really, really like the lyrics so I thought I'd write them down here. If someone ever reads this would you be kind and comment your thoughts on the lyrics? Hehe. They are so me.  I wrote them in... I guess the end of October out of the thoughts I had back then and I still can relate to the lyrics so good. Makes it an important one.

All My Life

(c) Spark 2012

I've seen the end before the start

still I crave for your heart

The feeling I thought I'd forgotten

is back again

What if all my life I've been moving towards you?

All my life without knowing you're my destination

The smoke gets in my lungs

You're speaking on a foreign tongue

Too long you've been on the run

somewhere seeking for the one

What if all my life I've been moving towards you?

All my life without knowing you're my destination

Can't be right - I'm the wolf and you are the moon

Can't be right - what's ever gone right with my kind of fool?

I better forget you, forget your face

I better forget that we even met that day

What if all my life I've been moving towards you?

All my life without knowing you're my destination

Can't be right - I'm the wolf and you are the moon

Can't be right - what's ever gone right with my kind of fool?

people is a funny six-letter word

There are people who make an everlasting impact on you and possibly your life, too.

People you adore
people you care for
people who have something in them that points them out of the crowd
People who are beautiful inside and out
People that are close /
Who seem to have hearts of gold
The kind of people you could fall for

There are songs that are full of memories

Songs that remind you of that summer night,
songs that remind you of the evening dark in a moving car
watching the rain whip the window and blur the lights

Songs that take you back to your strongest feelings
songs that always find a new meaning
songs that you always forget how to sing

There are people you get to know, all of a sudden. People you talk to a lot. People who get scared when they become important to you. People you tell they are special. People you feel you lose for what you do. People who know you.

There are people who make you feel alive. People that are more important to you than you are to them. People who make you feel bad, disappointed and sad.

But there are people who never let go.

There are people who make an impact on you
People who point out of the crowd

These are the people worth writing songs about

sudden superness

Got a call from my friend Jusa last night, he was out with our mutual friend and asked if I wanted to join. We went to Hakaniemi to another friend's temporary apartment where she was taking care of two cats for a week's time. It was an amazing apartment! So cosy, so compact and so nice. And can you believe it: I hadn't met a cat for... guess a year or two. Though I have a blurry memory of a cat from last autumn but let's not count that 'cause I'm not sure haha.

By random, we went to see Die Hard 5 in cinema. It was an okay movie, great for the moment but by further inspection I don't think it was anything mind-blowing. Overall it was a super night! Love my friends.

And to keep the blog deep enough, I just realized that there are so many chances in everyone's lives. They just got to recognize them and go for them and they could achieve things they could never imagine. Open your eyes.

What a mirri.

sleepover over and over again

So, we were at a friend's place with some friends (huh, how circumlocutionary)! Played video games, watched movies, ate, talked and did all kinds of things. Had a fun time, especially the deep conversations that always occur in the late hours. Oh my, love them.

I don't like the fact I'm so impatient and that I'm living in constant wait. I'm waiting for something (was it the EP release or something else) and I know I shouldn't be living like this. I should live in the moment. In the beginning of the year I managed to do that but now I've little lost it. Haha. I'm just so excited about all the coming at all times that I kind of miss the actual moment I'm living.

beauty as i see it

Today I'm gonna go to my friend's place for a sleepover with some other friends. Gonna be fun! Here are some shots I've snapped during the last year. First thing I post here for you and not for myself. Hope you like them.

thursday

I visited [a clothing store] today. I had bought leather shoes from there two months ago and now I wanted to make a reclamation. Both of the shoes had a hole at the baby toe. The store would have wanted me to leave the shoes at the location for some further inspection but I had no other shoes with me that I could have worn to bounce back home. They said if I could come at some other time and I explained the situation would be the same then, too, as I just do not possess another pair of shoes. Haha. The nice woman said they'd do an exception with me and said 'go grab some shoes from the shelf'!

So I got free shoes. Me likes.

I've been working on this song called "Unspoken" now. It sounds so beautiful. It's a personal song and got to say when I recorded the demo I was touched by the song. By my own song! So I knew I was making something right. I like it a lot. "We'll leave it all unspoken / wish I had never fallen".

I've been listening to Darren Hayes all day, who's an Australian singer-songwriter of Savage Garden fame. He went on to a solo career and has made a lot of great sounding pop songs! Check out Black Out the Sun (click!) and Blood Stained Heart which has been stuck on my head all day. Some of them are kind of bitter love songs, a lot of them are made out of separation so I don't think they are the giddiest songs but wow man what a production, what a vocal talent and what a songwriting!

And guys! Do you know the feeling when you're on the subway, bathing in the winter sun with a smile on your face and new shoes on your feet, listening to Ed Sheeran and watching all the people on the train. How many people of whom you know nothing! So many unknown lives. All kinds of human destinies...

I should be so happy

I was really happy as the holidays began. I haven't really seen friends for a few days and for some reason I've started to forget the reasons to my happiness. 

Why should I be happy? 

I have fresh water, I have my family as one, I have a dog, I have gadgets, I have food, I have the ability to hear and see, I have my health, I have friends, I have education, I have achieved some goals of mine and fulfilled some of my dreams despite my young age, I can make music that touches people, I have a bright future ahead, I have life experience that puts me thinking not only the choices available but overall it just puts me thinking when I come to a situation I've met before, I have met some of my idols, I have recorded a Finnish pop artist, I often succeed, I live in Finland, I don't have problems, I have a lot of possibilities that I could just go for, I have a roof upon my head, I don't feel cold at the moment, I have a cosy bed waiting for me in a minute or two, I have the chance to sleep enough, I have a great imagination, I am quite a deep thinker which has its downsides too though, I have found people that I click with, I can come up with metaphors to my lyrics that satisfy myself, I have the chance to travel, I have seen some more of this planet other than my home country, I have cool shoes, I have a good self-esteem, I have most of my grandparents still alive, I have all kinds of junk that I don't even need, I have the ability to write and the ability to write good or at least good enough for myself, I have the ability to bicycle, I have a bicycle, I have never injured myself badly, I could have all the joy in the world if I just were up for it, I am sociable enough, I have good sense of beauty (though, which in the end is always what this fella right here thinks as beauty) and I have taken pictures that please my eye, I like my life and I should, I have courage, I have done things, I can talk about my feelings, I can show my feelings, I have still a life ahead of me (knock on wood), I have not failed relationships that bad lately, there are things I do not know how to do / deal with / see / hear / cope without / etc, I can make people happy at times, I am in the best school I can think of, I have good experience on this thing called destiny, I have memory, I have nostalgic memories I can think of when I miss a teardrop in the corner of my eye, I have seen movies, I have seen the sunset at the Spanish steps in Rome, I have not yet visited Seychelles (something good for the future too), I have not yet met the one it seems though I've thought so, I have seen some magnificent concerts, I have not yet done / achieved / seen / heard / etc everything which makes me happy because I have some great things worth waiting for - though I cannot wait for them because I don't know when is their time to step into my life heh, I have great, great plans, I have lately made closer friends out of some that I've been just a "hello-friend" with....... Well, yeah. I should be happy. I would be happy. I could be happy. And hey, I AM happy. I just felt a little like I was losing the reasons... But why did I felt so? I don't know. Overthinking once again... 

 And oh my... I'm so grateful to my parents because, first things first, I would not be here writing without them and I would definitely be this far in my life without their support and input.

wrong direction

been a lazy day. transposed my song, recorded some acoustic guitars and took a walk with friends in fresh air. there are times when you think you're fucking up your song but after working on it for a while you understand that everything really happens for a reason and the song sounds better than it has ever sounded before. these are the little joys of my life.

My friend linked me a song called "Let Her Go" by Passenger. Fell in love with the song right away. I just now listened to some other tunes from this interesting artist and found this song "Wrong Direction". Super fascinating songwriting; easy-going acoustic music but oh my, the lyrics are really clever.

"Cos I'd love to feel love but I can't stand the rejection

I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection

I thought I was close but under further inspection

It seems I've been running in the wrong direction"

is something a lot of people on this planet can relate to and I am not an exception. Listen to the song, maybe you like it as much as I did!

new music and musical frustration

what a musical day! We had decided to start working on a song together with Ere and that's what we did. He had a nice dance / house melody that we started developing. In the end we had a great buildup and a chorus that I transposed to heavens and came up with lyrics to. It goes somewhat like this "I'm free / the pain ain't hurting me / won't be feeling blue, not over you / won't you please forget me?". It's tentative as hell so it doesn't matter if I post it. But yeah, I'm very pleased to what we got done and the co-operation between us was easy and productive which was nice to notice.

Working on a song that's called one of the following: "Forget Me", "Forget You", "I'm Free" or something completely different.

In the evening I headed to the studio to work on a song called "Unspoken", a slower that's based on my feelings in the beginning of the year. I though I'd leave everything unspoken but in the end it was better not to. It's an amazing song but we noticed I had composed it too low. Haha. I gotta freaking transpose the whole freaking song - and the worst thing is that I've sung some backing vocals and recorded the final acoustic guitars. Well, bye bye 'final'! Gotta make some free time this week to transpose the song...

...but I so want to see my friends! I want to do things. Don't only want to be at home... and I sure haven't been home lately. So feel free to contact me if you consider yourself as my friend, I wanna hang out with you, oui.

I'm also really glad on some new friends I've made that aren't that new but that I've got to know better lately. And by the way, the feeling you get when a person lets you know they trust you is kind of an amazing feeling! Makes you all giddy. Haha. What an expression!

living high and a little lower too

In the last 30 hours I've been home about two hours. Yesterday I woke up at 12am still tired and in two hours I had left for the Restaurant Day that was on around the world. I had plans on checking the day out with my friend Lara, and oh we found a lot of things - and nothing.

First of all, I ate my first ever cake pop and loved it. White chocolate topping and coconut-something filling, uh! Then we moved on to a chili pop-up restaurant, which we did not find right away. I ate some chili con carne and took a chili cacao that was über-spicy.

Then on we were supposed to go grab some veggie burgers from Sörkkä, from Animalia but they were all gone. As a plan B we headed over to Kumpula where should have been a fish and chips pop-up of some sort but we took a bus to the wrong address AND as a cherry on the cake we drove past the bus stop we should have got off on. As we realized that there was no fish and chips at the location we decided to try the nearby sushi pop-up thats keepers told us they had no sushi anymore. Yippii! My friend had got nothing to eat. We took a bus to the Central Railway Station where Heli joined us. We found out that there were no baguettes anymore at Iso-Roba so we failed ourselves and stepped into McDonalds.

Lara left and me and Heli headed via my place to Vuosaari to our mutual friend to have a chill night with some other friends. Me and my friend got make-upped by the girls and me and friends tried freaking two friends out in the cellar. Did. Not. Work. Haha. I have slept four hours but I do not feel tired yet.

Today should have been a studio night but we moved it till tomorrow. Tomorrow I have also plans on working on the best dance / house song on this planet with my friend.

I'm very happy. Especially about my musical ventures and some relationships. But still on the other hand there's something that keeps me living the lower time same time with the high times. Meaning that as a contrast for the super stuff that's happening these times in my life there is also some minor things that remind me of the reality of living. Nothing is always so easy.

And hey, Antti Tuisku has a new song out! 80's! The music video is cool, the song is well produced but still it doesn't speak to me. Dull song for the first time.

They've been offering their hearts but You've tied my hands behind my back

They've been offering their hearts

but You've tied my hands behind my back

The upper two lines are a piece of my unfinished song. They were true yet a while ago. Oh well, still are. 

I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately. Some of your friends you are really close with, some of them you're not that close with and with some friends you just slowly drift apart. Lately I've been able to keep myself from drifting apart from magnificent people and that feels super. Talking sure helps if something matters between you two.

I've also been thinking how annoying it is when you have a person in your life who just doesn't seem to respect your presence in their lives. And I mean respecting the fact you care for them and want to be in their lives. Maybe 'respect' is a wrong word and I don't mean that I would be seeking respect in any way. I just mean that sometimes some people don't seem to respect the effort you put into the friendship, and that doesn't feel that nice. 

If you are reading this, please take a look at your life and start showing some care for the people that care about you. And if you feel like someone important to you does not feel the same, speak out.

long days, long nights

The subject sounds such a cliché. Last night we had the afterparties and the after-afterparties! The afterparty was a lot of fun. Music, friends and dancing. The after-afterparties were a little less nice as people were kind of off at the point when we walked in. But yeah, overall I have a great feeling of this week. The single, the dances and the parties. Thought I'd share one picture from last night that's of bad quality and doesn't really show anything interesting.

I have the whole next week free so won't you offer me something to do! At least I'm going to continue working on the EP to get it ready until next month. A lot of singing ahead... I'm living such an exciting times. Bad times for an impatient person like me.

wanhat part II and BASTILLE -love

The dances for this year are over now, and they went well! Had a great time, I'm feeling so good right now. Oh man. There's an after party tonight and I'm not sure what kind of boogie they have there but I'm gonna go there. There's also an after after party where fellas gonna drink themselves full and I'm a little unsure of that one because I don't really drink stuff. It's just that it doesn't really fascinate me, the alcohol culture. Guys of my age tend to drink for the wrong reasons and somehow I haven't wanted to contribute.

My dear friend Ester found an amazingly good band called Bastille. It's a lot like the music I try to do: synth pop with a modern twist spiced with meaningful, deeper lyrics than usual. Love them. Check this out. With an African-kind of chant, this synth-driven pop song is something so cool.

This one is also a killer:

Uujee. Gotta go now! JEE.

dead balloons

What a great day today! One of the greatest Valentine's days ever, for sure. And why? 1) an easy morning playing Adele in a band with wonderful guys. 2) saw an outstanding spectacle made by the abiturs.

3) met some friends I don't see that often. It was really nice to see them, and not only them but also all the new faces. And it was incredible to hear positive feedback concerning my single from people I'm not that close with. I'm over and over again simply stunned if someone likes my music. I make it for myself, to satisfy my need to write music and open up myself to the lyrics, and that's why it feels so good to hear nice words about my music. It's more personal than one may think or it may seem.

Happy Valentines! 

Taken by Saija (click to visit her blog!). Balloon modified by me.

Met for example Saija and somehow we talked about balloons and about liking "dead" balloons. It's kind of indescribable and inside, so I don't bother opening that one up any more than that. Hehe. It was nice to see her.

In the evening it was time for the first two rounds of wanhojen tanssit. It's a Finnish tradition and kind of a formal prom. It was nice to dance the dances. People were pretty and I didn't fuk up, which are both considerably nice things don't you think? More tomorrow... Plus the after party and the after party after the after party. It's gonna be a long day tomorrow.

I've been full of love today for some strange reason. I would just want to hug every single one passenger on the street, I've had a great mood on. And why shouldn't I? Things can only get better. And that does not mean they would be bad in any way. Luv mi lifeee.

single out now!

My single is out now. I wish you would take a listen to it! Just listen to the song. I'm not asking much! Thank you A LOT! <3

And how do I feel now that the single is out there? I'm happy. I've got a LOT of positive feedback and it makes me feel like I was on the top of the world. Mental! So nice.

the Pepsodent smile of my life

I think it's awesome to be able to start a blog with a subject like this. Life smiles, and what a Pepsodent smile that is! After yesterday I have basically nothing wrong in my life. You might think: "what the hell is he going to write about if everything's so perfect?", and I might just answer that I sure have things to write about. There are all kinds of deep shit coming up plus photos plus things about my life plus music stuff and so on... I don't know how much you care about them but I want to be able to put out my thoughts faster than making a song for a year and putting my thoughts out via the lyrics.

Who am I? I'm a Finnish soon-17-yo boy. I write love songs and I like sunsets, synth pop, lovey-dovey stuff, catchy choruses, biking, friends, girls lol, beautiful things such as landscapes and artsy photographs and such dull, my dog... I like a lot of things. I like to overthink things to the point I confuse not only myself but everyone involved - and some more. Besides having a dog (that's really not mine anyway) and an iPhone to instagram things, I have a solo (for now) synth pop project called Spark. I'm working with the coolest producer in the world. He's an amazing guy and he's a huge reason for me being able to talk about the next subject...

...which is my new song! I have a single coming out tonite. It's called "Oh These Days". I have been working on it for the last 10 months - since April last year. The song has gone through a number of changes along the way. The lyrics were rewritten in November and I just last week realized how personal they really are. I wrote them about a fictional situation but soon noticed that I have lived a same kind of situation. And after realizing this, I liked to start shortening the story behind the lyrics in a following way: "Oh These Days" is about two people of which the other one fails to see the love that's right around the corner.

And why in hell am I writing in English? Because this is nice. I'm good at writing in Finnish but this feels more natural for me. I write my lyrics in English. That means I open my mind, observe my thoughts and write cool metaphors in English. Of course I have grammar mistakes but who cares? I don't and that's all that matters.

And this post is the famous first post into which you write A LOT - a freaking block of your what-will-i-write crap - and then you stop posting. Let's see what happens in this case. But yeah!

If you are interested in reading my thoughts and learning about this fella right here, you're more than welcome. Yeeeeehaa.